The past couple of weeks have been pretty rough for me. More than a few times I’ve been let down by several people. I normally keep up a bit of a wall so that I’m not so disappointed by others, but I started to break down that wall, and now I regret it.
The first time it was pretty minor. I belong to a FreeCycle group on Facebook. One of the group members expressed an interest in something I was giving away, and made an appointment to pick up the items. Then she never showed up. This occurred several times over the course of a week. When I finally told her that she had one last opportunity, or I’d put the item back up as available, she finally did show up to pick up the items. Not a big deal, but an annoyance.
The second time was with another person from the group. We arranged to meet at a place halfway between us at 7p. We waited … and waited … and waited. I called several times, left text messages, and never received any response. And this was after speaking to her at 6:30p to confirm our meeting. Luckily we didn’t waste any gas money, since we were already heading that direction, but we did waste a good bit of time. We waited over an hour before leaving the location. Later that night, I got a text message saying she’d had a medical emergency and went to the ER. She apologized profusely, and asked to schedule another time. After a week of messaging her and never getting a response (all the while she was responding to other posts in the group), I finally gave up trying.
The third disappointment came from a “friend” (and I use that term loosely now) who offered to sell me a TiVo she no longer wanted, and I desperately wanted. We agreed on a price, then we agreed on how to ship it and how she would receive payment. Very straightforward … she sends it COD, I pay for the item and shipping costs. No games; no worry that either one of us gets screwed in the deal. She tells me she’s sending it one day, but then doesn’t because of the weather. Ok, I can understand that; not a problem. She says she’ll send it the next day. Later the next night, I send her an email asking if it was sent. No reply. A week – and several emails later – and still no reply. But I know she’s still alive, since I see her posting stuff every day. I respond to one of her posts, asking her to check her email. I know she saw my comment, because she responded to it. But still no email. Nothing from the Post Office, either. This one really pisses me off since it concerns money. Thankfully I didn’t send her the money first, which is exactly what I was thinking about when I decided on having it shipped COD. But ya know, when you say you’re going to do something, at least have the fucking decency to do it or explain why you’re not. Don’t just leave someone hanging!
The final knife in my back happened a couple of days ago. A good friend of ours was in desperate need of financial help. Being who we are, my Husband and I decided we could pitch in and help our friend. We don’t have a lot, and we struggle financially most of the time, so we know what it feels like and try to help people in any way we can. We were in just such a position to help when our friend said he needed help, so we loaned him $100. A few days later, I noticed that he was distancing himself from us. I chalked it up to his feeling a sense of shame that he had to ask for help. But then he decided to pick a fight for no apparent reason. That’s when I realized exactly what he was doing – trying to dissolve a friendship, expecting that we’d just write him off and he wouldn’t have to pay us back. A couple of days, and a couple of conversations later, I had confirmation of this. And ya know what … KARMA is a big ol’ bitch! And I have a memory like a fucking elephant!
So, for the foreseeable future, my wall goes back up and The Bitch comes back out. I trust no one. I give money to no one. I don’t go out of my way to help anyone. I will fulfill any commitments I’ve already made, but I won’t be making any more for a very long time.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
“Behind every bitch is an asshole that made her that way.”