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Relationships – the good, the bad & the ugly

Sitting here listening to an infomercial on tv, about soft rock hits, has turned my thoughts to some of my relationships. Just like everyone, I’m sure, I’ve had all sorts of relationships. The majority of them have been good. A rare few have been great. A handful have been bad. And then there were the ugly. Being who I am, I try not to dwell on the bad (or ugly). I try to move past and let go, and most of the time I’m successful.

Currently, I’m experiencing some really great relationships. The one I have with my Husband is hands down, the best I’ve ever had. There are bad days, as we’re all apt to have now and then, but I’d have to say that 95% of the time, I’m happy. I constantly tell my single friends that my biggest wish for them, is that they find the kind of love I have. And when they’ve gone through a rough relationship, I feel guilty for having something so great while they’re hurting.

The next best relationship is the one I have with my Son. When I first left his father, things were so bad between us, I wasn’t sure we’d ever recover. Slowly, though, things got back to “normal”, and now the bond between us is very strong. He is such a smart, caring, sensitive young man, and I am so very proud of the person he’s becoming. Of course, there are days I want to string him up by his toes, but those days are happening less and less. (Actually, the same is true about my Husband, occasionally! LOL)

Moving on to the good relationships. I have my conventional friends and family, but I also have friendships that a few closed-minded people would consider to be “strange” or “wrong”. Unfortunately, my Dad is one of those closed-minded people, who can’t understand how someone can have a friendship with an ex. He actually believes it to be wrong for exes to stay in contact, even if they have a child together! I believe, as do many others, that it’s not only ok, but it’s healthy for the child(ren). If my parents were at the very least civil to each other after they split, I believe my (and my sister’s) life would have been much better. But that’s more for another post, another day. Back to my friendships….  Out of the handful of people that I consider to be my closest friends, two of them fall into the ex category. One of them is my ex, and one is my ex’s ex. And I’m sure one other will become a close friend in time. The funny thing is, for a long time, I was sure that the relationship with my ex would remain labeled as not only bad, but ugly. But as the cliches go: “time heals all wounds” and “forgive, forget and move on”. I think we have a better friendship now, than when we were actually a couple! Even my Husband is becoming friends with him, which was initially a shock, because of the bad blood between them in the past. It’s all water under the bridge now….what was said and done was said and done, and you can’t take it back. But you forgive and ask to be forgiven, and if you’re a decent person, you move on with the future.

Then we have the bad and the ugly. Again, I try hard to not dwell on the bad, but sometimes you have to see the bad to realize when you’ve got the good. It’s funny how things come full circle sometimes. I don’t believe in a higher power, but I do believe in karma, and that what goes around, comes around. I think everyone has the ability to change for the better, it’s just a matter of desire. Kind of like an alcoholic: if they don’t want to change, they won’t be able to change. Luckily, I don’t have many people in my life who I have bad or ugly relationships with. Those that I consider to be ugly, I simply cut out of my life if at all possible (unfortunately, I have one that isn’t possible to cut out). Those that I consider to be bad, I try to work with them to see if there’s a chance that they’ll change. Sometimes they do…sometimes they don’t. If they don’t, and the relationship is or was that bad, then you cut them out of your life, never look back, and never speak about them again (I’ve got a couple like that). It’s really not that hard to do.

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