How Atheists, Jews and Muslims are ruining Christmas!
I have had 3 people say the most ridiculous things to me this week. Ridiculous, and eerily similar. It’s almost like they were all coached. But they don’t know each other, so who could have coached 3 strangers to all say basically the same thing? Hmmm, maybe it’s part of the church’s brainwashing technique. That has to be it, ’cause that’s what happens to logic when churches get involved.
Statement #1: “Secular people have twisted the meaning of Christmas.”
Statement #2: “They’ve taken Christ out of Christmas and now Santa. What’s next, Burkas for little girls and Korans for little boys on Christmas morning?”
Statement #3: “Christians aren’t responsible for Christmas becoming commercialized. It’s consumers and companies that are at fault.”
Say what?! Whatchu talkin’ ’bout Willis?
Yes folks, it’s true! Those of us who don’t celebrate this Christian holiday are being held responsible for the downfall of Christmas.
It couldn’t possibly have anything to do with Christian consumers being so gung-ho over the holiday that they start decorating, buying gifts and taking over the airwaves with holiday music in October!
Nah, that can’t be it. I mean, without Christian consumers losing their minds in October, the companies wouldn’t be advertising and trying to get as much money as possible for the 3 to 4 months before the actual holiday, right.
It must be all of those Atheists, Jews, Muslims and other non-Christian people that are to blame.
People, this is a serious issue! We must do something about it, and we must do it immediately!
Here’s what I suggest:
The next time you’re shopping at your local super gargantuan chain store (you know, the ones with Christmas decorations and goods on display before Halloween), please make sure you run to customer service and demand to see the [probably Christian] store manager. Be sure to tell the [probably Christian] store manager exactly what you think of him being personally responsible for ruining Christmas. Then go about your Christmas shopping, even if it is only October.
And as an added bonus, I suggest waiting outside for all the Atheists, Jews, Muslims and non-Christian people that are flocking in to buy all the Christmas junk, and tell them how they’re also responsible for ruining Christmas!
Bring a jacket, though, ’cause you might be there a very long time since
Atheists, Jews, Muslims and other non-Christian people
don’t celebrate the holiday, and therefore
don’t buy all the junk associated with it!
Thank you for your help and support.