Yesterday, having had only 4 and a half hours of sleep, I was exhausted by the time Matthew got up for school. Being 12 (almost 13), he’s quite capable of getting himself ready in the morning. I woke him up, stumbled around for a few minutes, then collapsed into bed.
A few minutes later, just as I was about to shed the problems of the day and fall into a deep sleep, he bounds into my bedroom, touches my leg, and softly says, “Mom, I think I tore my contact”. After peeling myself off the ceiling (have you ever been woken up just as you’re falling asleep … then you know the feeling!), I forced one eye open and just looked at him, incredulous.
The look on his face was priceless. After the fiasco the day before, I think he was afraid that The Bitch was going to reach out, pin him against the wall 6 inches off the floor, and strangle him. 😀 What he didn’t realize, was that I was too tired to give a damn. I asked him to tell me what he thought happened, then I shooed him out of the room so I could try to re-enter sleep.
About 20 minutes later, he left for the bus, and I still wasn’t asleep. 10 minutes after that, Bill came home from work, and I stopped struggling and just got out of bed. I couldn’t stop thinking about the possible cost to replace the contact, and I had to see for myself just what he may have done to it.
I examined it, realized I had no idea what I was looking at, and decided to stay awake another hour to call the eye doctor’s office. I ate a donut that Bill brought home from work for me, watched a morning show, and discussed politics to keep myself awake. At 8:01a, I was on the phone, explaining what may have happened. I was told to bring the contact and the boy in to the office after school. I then fell into a very deep sleep, waking up only when the boy came bounding into the house after school.
It was confirmed, he tore it – right in the center – by pulling it too hard to open it, when it folded on itself. Luckily, his insurance will pay for 1 replacement pair. They figure that a new contact wearer will damage them at some point, while getting used to the routine. I was relieved. And the boy will be allowed to live. 😉
This was sent to me in an email. I wish I knew to whom I should credit.
Well, there is good news and bad news about my Christmas decorations this year.
Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down. First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by. Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn’t realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn’t take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.
Kind of feel like I gave in to the man by taking him down but my neighbor did confirm to near miss accidents on the busy street next to my house. I think I made him too real this time.
So it was fun while it lasted! Merry Christmas!
Another fun email. Truer words couldn’t be spoken.
If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!
(And those close to 30)
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning…..
Yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!
But now that… I’m over the ripe old age of thirty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don’t know how good you’ve got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter – with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take, like, a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
There were no MP3′ s or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car We’d play our favorite tape and “eject” it when finished and the tape would come undone. Cause – that’s how we rolled, dig?
We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it!
And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel! NO REMOTES!!!
There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brats!
And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled. You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or before!
The Over 30 Crowd