Home > Circus of Life, Family, Trackbacks > Something for me, part 2

Something for me, part 2

To continue, from yesterday’s post.

Done for me

A little for my Husband, too. I got my hair permed! I really don’t know what possessed me, but I did it nonetheless. The last time I had any curl in my hair … besides occasionally using a curling iron … was in 2002. The last time I went to a salon to get my hair done? I can’t even remember!

I used to go visit my Aunt when I wanted a perm. She wasn’t a professional stylist; she just enjoyed giving perms. We would sit for the several hours it takes, and catch up with each other. Usually, she would have her little tv in the kitchen tuned to some British comedy. My favorite to watch with her was “Are You Being Served?”. We also really enjoyed “Mr. Bean”. We always filled the time with love and laughter. And the horrendous smell of the perming solution. πŸ˜€

When my Aunt died in 2004, my desire to have my hair permed died with her. I just couldn’t envision myself letting anyone else perm my hair. It hurt too much to even think about it.

I met Bill in 2004, right around the same time that my Aunt died. Oh, I should mention that she died on my birthday, and that since then, I really prefer to not think about my birthday, either. By that time, my hair was back to being perfectly straight. He didn’t know about my Aunt, or my birthday depression, or my curly hair. After a year of being together, he knew all of those things about me. But he still wanted to see me with curly hair. Every time I would go to the salon to get my hair cut, he would jokingly ask me if I was going to get a perm. I knew he didn’t mean any harm by it; he wasn’t trying to make me think of my Aunt. He was just being a smartass.

What a surprise it was to him when we went to the salon, and I asked for a perm! I couldn’t help but laugh. It was tough for me to sit through it all. I kept flashing back to the times my Aunt and I would spend together. A few times I teared up, and had to explain to the stylist that I was ok. She was very understanding, as well, so that made it a little easier. At one point, she even asked for my assurances that I really wanted to do this.

Once it was all done, I think the emotion of it all hit me. The stylist was very excited about the way it turned out. I think she was happier than I was! I liked the way it looked, but by then I was too overwhelmed to register much more than a smile and a “thank you”. It wasn’t until we were home that I started to feel guilty that my level of happiness didn’t match hers. I hope she understood why, and didn’t take it personally. Maybe I should go back and let her know? Would that be too weird?

Me, with a perm

My Son took the pic with his cell phone - sorry about the bad quality. I wanted to make sure both the front and the back were visible, which is why I'm in front of a mirror.

Bonus, for you

If you have never seen an episode of “Are You Being Served?”, check out PBS or BBC sometime. You might get lucky and catch a re-run. Here’s a clip of one of my favorite characters, Mrs. Slocombe, saying one of the funniest lines on tv. Something you’d never see on American television, for sure!

My British humor re-cap wouldn’t be complete without a clip of Mr. Bean, played by Rowan Atkinson. One of the best physical comedians ever, in my opinion. Enjoy!

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  1. February 1, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    It is a great perm, Shelli! I’m the same exact way, and I was so lost when my best friend died this past fall, that it affected so many things I did. It even shatters me now to write about it, talking to him the night he passed with my hand on his head, and his eyes were closed, but a single tear came down his cheek as I told him how much we all loved him, and that he would be with us always. The tear still rips me up.

    Then I realized that my friend would want me to soldier on and be exactly the way I always was, because that’s why we were friends to begin with — being who we are, and so you just know your aunt would love and appreciate that you held off so long, but would also want you to enjoy the perms again, because that’s who you are. Sorry for carrying on; I just wanted you to not feel bad about the perm. That was a very touching story, and the Brit shows rock!!! Great post!!!

    • February 1, 2010 at 8:50 pm

      Dan, I’m so sorry to hear about your best friend. I know the feeling, all too well. I seem to be cursed by having so many close loved ones die too early in life. What you described is one of those things that would haunt me forever. Maybe I’m overly sensitive, I don’t know.

      I don’t feel bad about the perm, not in the least. It just conjured up so many memories of my Aunt, right down to the color of the rods and the smell of the solution. It’s like that first time up on a horse after falling off, only for me, it was more like the horse just up and disappeared from under me. At least there’s no emotional connection to my stylist! And with the advent of YouTube, I’m able to sit and watch the British comedies and feel a bit of a connection to her again. I can even still hear her laughing with me. πŸ™‚

  2. February 1, 2010 at 11:40 pm

    A very moving post. I am very sorry to hear about your aunt. I wish I were closer to my family, and that I had close relationships with them. All my non-immediate family members live across the country, and while I am able to go visit them, the distance doesn’t do much for fostering close relationships. I do think that by doing things that remind you of your aunt is way to honor her. That is how loved ones keep living after they are gone, through our memories and little tributes to them.

    I am happy that you went out to go treat yourself (as well as the hubby, two for the price of one) you really needed to do something special for you. The perm looks awesome on you! It makes me miss the body waves I used to get in my hair from time to time. She did a very good job, I worked in a salon and perms aren’t the easiest to do. I love British comedies~ especially Bean, he’s a personal favorite. I hope you will continue to enjoy the perm as well as the British comedies!

    • February 2, 2010 at 3:46 am

      I don’t really have close relationships with my relatives, either. The ones that are close to home, I don’t really bother with. Except my Aunt, and she was at least a 45 minute drive away. The last time I saw her daughters, my cousins, was at her funeral. There were a couple of family that I was close to, but now they’re 1000 miles away. Most of my family is scattered across the country. The closest to me, distance and emotion, is my father. He’s a half hour away from me, and we rarely see each other. But we make it a point to have some contact with each other at least once a month, usually by phone.

      The perm did turn out great! Thank you. Now I’m getting used to how much work they are. I’d forgotten about that part! πŸ˜€

  3. February 2, 2010 at 9:36 am

    Dear Shelli, I think your perm looks great. I watched Are You Being Served for a long time. I didn’t know it was still on. I will check it our. Peace, howie

    • February 2, 2010 at 7:44 pm

      Thanks Howie! It’s still on, but not regularly. I’ve caught it a couple of times this past year. One was an xmas episode with animatronic mannequins. Hysterical! But I can’t find it on YouTube. 😦 If you find it, let me know!

  4. February 2, 2010 at 11:46 am

    Good for you! We should all do something for ourselves now and then. In fact, we should aim for once a month – even if it is just hiding away from the family in a nice, hot bath.

    Your memories of having perms with your Aunt are so precious and sweet.

    Sadly, my memories of perms are somewhat different. My mother used to go to a woman who did hair in her house and I would go with her. The hairdresser’s daughter told me that her Alsatian shook hands with people. I tried to get the dog to shake my hand an it refused. So I bent down to pick up it’s paw.

    The next memory is running across the kitchen and looking down seeing splashes of red blood on the tiles.

    The dog bit me through my bottom lip, next to my eye, and in my head.

    It wasn’t the dog’s fault. I was a kid and went up to a strange dog and tried to pick up it’s paw. I mean, come on! If you were a dog, you’d bite too.

    The legacy of it all is that I now have a somewhat fatter lower lip than I might have otherwise had. Then again, I have big lips, so it doesn’t really make any difference.

    I dont know what happened to the dog. I really hope it wasn’t put down or anything. That would be awful.

    As I said, a somewhat different memory associated with the smell of perming solution…

    Moving on….

    • February 2, 2010 at 7:48 pm

      Hiding from family is always a good idea, as frequently as possible. πŸ˜€ I was once bit by a dog, but not in a visible place. Another blog, another day. Yeah, I’d have unpleasant flashbacks if I were you, too! Yikes!

  5. February 2, 2010 at 11:46 am

    As for Are you Being Served my favorite is the little gay guy. LOVE him.

    • February 2, 2010 at 7:49 pm

      Oh yes! He’s my favorite on that show, too! Only, poor guy isn’t out of the closet … or is in a serious state of denial. LOL

  6. February 3, 2010 at 2:38 am

    Hey, from one curly girl to another…loving the hair!
    And Mr. Bean is awesome. That is one seriously funny dude with a gift for the quirk. =)
    Mindy
    http://www.thesuburbanlife.com

    • February 3, 2010 at 3:02 am

      Thank ya Mindy! Wow, yet another Mr. Bean fan! I’ve definitely found my niche here on WP. Everyone seems to be a Bean fan! Woohooo! πŸ™‚

  7. February 10, 2010 at 9:24 am

    Perm looks fantastic, Shelli …

    And if calling the stylist will make YOU feel better then by all means do … but in all seriousness, I don’t think she was put off.

    I used to be a stylist ( one of my many jobs and many licenses ) and generally after the customer left .. it was move on to the next one.. so don’t feel bad, ok?

    • February 11, 2010 at 1:44 am

      Thanks Leese. I haven’t gone back yet, and now it just seems like too much time has passed. I’ll see if I can get the same one the next time I go back for a cut, and see if she remembers me. (Oh, I was her last customer for the day, so there was no moving on to the next customer.) Thanks for the input, though! πŸ™‚

  1. February 2, 2010 at 7:04 pm
  2. February 20, 2010 at 7:33 am

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