Hello, my name is Dumbass
Have you ever watched a grown woman have a complete and utter meltdown?
Well, let me tell you what it looks like.
She starts by banging her fists on her desk.
Then she flops her head forward, and repeatedly knocks her forehead on her desk.
The tears start to form in her eyes.
A panicky feeling starts in her gut, moving it’s way slowly to her chest.
Finally, that feeling makes it to her head.
The dam breaks, she’s fully crying.
Standing up, she cracks her baby toe on the edge of her desk.
A verbal assault starts; she’s screaming vulgarities at herself.
She starts pacing back and forth through the living room.
Occasionally, she’ll stop to examine her little toe.
Walking to the medicine chest for Advil, she’s wishing she had alcohol instead.
Slamming the medicine chest shut, she gulps down the 2 pills.
She stomps to the front door, opens it, and walks outside.
Realizing she forgot her cigarettes, she goes back and grabs them in a huff.
Outside, inhaling deeply, she momentarily calms down.
Then the tears start again; the sobbing starts.
Finishing her smoke, she slumps back into the house.
Flopping herself into her chair, she stares at the computer screen.
For the next few minutes, she tries to un-do what she’s done.
The vulgarities slow to a trickle.
She takes a deep breath, and sits back in her chair.
Grabbing a tissue, she wipes her eyes and blows her nose.
She lets out a long sigh, and signs onto MySpace.
Realizing there’s nothing she can do to fix her mistake,
she decides to write a blog.
So, you’re probably wondering what I did to cause a meltdown.
I deleted a database for my website.
I had two. Now I have one.
The wrong one.