Happy Holidays, my ass!
My Holiday has been ruined … ruined, I tell ya!
It all started with a trip to the grocery store. As I was walking in, I noticed all the signs and displays said “Seasons Greetings” and “Happy Holidays”. The special foods for this time of year said “Holiday this” or “Holiday that“. Nowhere was there any mention of My Holiday!
Then, to make matters even worse, when I finally got to the register, my cashier said, “Happy Holidays!” to me! That was it – the last straw!
WTF is wrong with people today?! I mean, really … all this political correctness bullshit has gotten out of hand! Can’t they tell just by looking at me what My Holiday is, and greet me accordingly?! Is that asking for too much?!
People should address me by what My Holiday is! I don’t care what other people celebrate. So what if my cashier celebrates a different holiday than I do?! She should still be required to acknowledge My Holiday, damn it!
Everyone knows that My Holiday celebration starts in October and doesn’t end until January! My Holiday is the only important holiday during that time! People only go shopping for My Holiday during that time! That’s the tradition here in this country, and if you think differently, then you aren’t patriotic!
I’m sick and tired of people from other countries coming here and telling me what I can and can’t do when it comes to My Holiday! You don’t see us going to their country and telling them what to do!
My Holiday tradition is the oldest tradition in this country, and that’s the way it should be! This country was founded on the tradition of My Holiday!
The whole reason for the season is My Holiday! If you don’t like it, that’s just tough shit! Deal with it!
So I’ve decided what I’m going to do about it. I’m going to bitch and whine to anybody that will listen, about how everyone else has declared war on My Holiday!
I’m going to fill my status messages on Facebook with complaints about people not acknowledging My Holiday! And nobody had better dare contradict me, because I know better than everyone else what My Holiday traditions are about!
I might even start a “Cause” on Facebook, demanding that everyone must acknowledge My Holiday! Then I’ll send it to everyone on my Friend List, asking them to join the “Cause”, too. And I don’t care if my friends don’t celebrate My Holiday. It’s not my fault that they celebrate the wrong holiday! They’re not acknowledging My Holiday, so why should I be respectful of theirs?
This is a work of satire. If you didn’t recognize that, then you are part of the problem!
This could have been about anyone in any country. But I will admit that it’s typically the type of stupidity that comes from Christians who think they have a monopoly on the December holidays.
So, for those Christians who have zero respect for anyone of any other religion who might celebrate a holiday other than Christmas (or no holiday at all), I have a special message for you: