The Billboard Song
This is a song I learned 30 years ago, at Girl Scout camp. I remember it being one of the silliest, and most fun songs of my youth. And that says a lot, considering I grew up in a time when Ray Stevens was at the top of his game, with songs like “The Streak” and “I’m My Own Grandpa”.
I had the lyrics saved on a piece of paper that was handed out to all of us Girl Scouts. I don’t know why I saved it, but it’s one of those things that got put in a special box full of memories. These are the lyrics as I knew them:
As I was walking down the street one dark and dreary day,
I came upon a billboard, and much to my dismay,
The sign was torn and tattered from a storm the night before.
The wind and rain had done its job and this is what I saw:
Smooooooke, Coca-Cola Cigarettes
Chew Wrigley’s Spearmint Beer
Ken-L-Ration Dog Food Makes Your Wife’s Complexion Clear
Simonize Your Baby With A Hershey’s Candy Bar
And Texacola Beauty Cream Is Used By All The Stars
Soooooo Take Your Next Vacation In A Brand New Fridgidaire
Learn To Play Piano In Your Winter Underwear
Doctors Say That Babies Should Smoke Until They’re Three
And People Over Sixty-five Should Bathe In Lipton Tea…
With Flow Thru Tea Bags!
Tonight, this song popped into my head, and I decided to Google it. I was surprised to find that there are so many different versions of the song! The original was done by Homer and Jethro.