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The Billboard Song

This is a song I learned 30 years ago, at Girl Scout camp. I remember it being one of the silliest, and most fun songs of my youth. And that says a lot, considering I grew up in a time when Ray Stevens was at the top of his game, with songs like “The Streak” and “I’m My Own Grandpa”.

I had the lyrics saved on a piece of paper that was handed out to all of us Girl Scouts. I don’t know why I saved it, but it’s one of those things that got put in a special box full of memories. These are the lyrics as I knew them:

As I was walking down the street one dark and dreary day,
I came upon a billboard, and much to my dismay,
The sign was torn and tattered from a storm the night before.
The wind and rain had done its job and this is what I saw:

Smooooooke, Coca-Cola Cigarettes
Chew Wrigley’s Spearmint Beer
Ken-L-Ration Dog Food Makes Your Wife’s Complexion Clear
Simonize Your Baby With A Hershey’s Candy Bar
And Texacola Beauty Cream Is Used By All The Stars

Soooooo Take Your Next Vacation In A Brand New Fridgidaire
Learn To Play Piano In Your Winter Underwear
Doctors Say That Babies Should Smoke Until They’re Three
And People Over Sixty-five Should Bathe In Lipton Tea…

With Flow Thru Tea Bags!

Tonight, this song popped into my head, and I decided to Google it. I was surprised to find that there are so many different versions of the song! The original was done by Homer and Jethro.

  1. August 1, 2011 at 7:05 pm

    I think I used to know another version of this song!! How cool…a total flashback!

    • August 1, 2011 at 11:18 pm

      Whenever it’s been really windy with rain, I think about this song. It’s been a constant in my head for the past 30+ years! 😀

  2. Sherrry
    September 27, 2012 at 8:44 am

    I remembered this last night and sang it to myself while walking the dog. I remember a few of the words were just a little different, but it’s still a funny song to sing. I’ve taught my children the song as they grew up, so whenever we can get together, we usually bring it up and sing it.

    • September 28, 2012 at 1:31 am

      It’s such a fun memory! I can’t believe I’m still singing it over 30 years later. 🙂

  3. Sherry
    September 27, 2012 at 8:47 am

    I will always love this song!

  4. November 18, 2013 at 12:34 pm

    Does anyone know any of the alternative lyrics? I remember it being something different than “simonize” your baby…if anyone can fill in the blank in my head I appreciate it!

    • November 20, 2013 at 8:20 pm

      That’s the only version I know of, sorry!

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