What’s your reason?
I wonder how many people ever really think about their reason for bringing a child into this world.
Is it because they want someone to love, or who will love them?
Is it because they want someone to inherit their riches?
Is it because they want to populate the world according to what’s dictated in their religious texts? (if that’s the case, I’m pretty sure the goal has been reached, and we can stop now!)
Is it because they want to pass on their DNA or family name?
Is it because they accidentally got pregnant and felt they had no choice?
Maybe it’s for revenge against an ex-lover?
Maybe they’re feeling pressured to provide grandchildren to their parents?
I’m guessing that most people bring a child into the world because it’s just what’s expected. But why is that? Why do we automatically think there’s some set of rules that we must follow in our lives? And why do these rules include child-bearing?
Is it something that’s inherent in our DNA? Are we not complete people without a child of our own?
I’ll tell you honestly, I have no idea why I made that decision. When I was younger, I didn’t even want children. I didn’t particularly even like children. For the most part, that’s still true. I don’t like other people’s children. There were times when I didn’t like my own children! I love them, make no mistake about that. My Son is my world, and I can’t imagine my life without him. If I went back in time, and had it to do all over again, I would have him again. But I still don’t know why.
Have you ever thought about it? What are your reason(s)?
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dreaming of a better life.
Waiting your time,
you're more than just a wife.
You don't have to do
what your mother has done. She has done.
This is your life,
this new life has begun.
It's your day - a woman's day!"
~ from "Shaking The Tree" - Peter Gabriel
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I had Avery and fell in love, before him I didn’t want children either. I’m glad I had him even with all the stuff that came with having him that I’m going through now. I’m even more happy that I met a man I love and had two children with him. In a time like we’re going through now I kind of wish they weren’t here so if anything happened to me, I wouldn’t put them through it too…but they also give me the only reason to keep fighting and to make sure I AM here for them. They are my reasons for living. I feel my existence on this Earth would have been pointless if I hadn’t brought them into it.
There’s no denying that we love our children. But WHY did we have them in the first place? Have you ever thought about it?
For years at every family gathering (and sometimes in the street), everyone would pressure my girlfriend and I, saying “When’s the big day then?” etc… When we got engaged, exactly as I predicted, this all changed to “So when will we be hearing the pitter-patter of tiny feet?”.
ARGHHH!!! We don’t want children! What if it tured out we actually CAN’T have children? Would it still be acceptable for everyone to force this societal crap on us? We’ve thought about just telling people we HAVE had children but gave them away/ate/sacrificed them.
So, the reason why not? Umm… we still want to live our own lives, and go out and stuff. And not be responsible.
To many people have kids then expect everyone else to babsysit, and then guilt-trip others into doing t because ‘they haven’t been out for months’ – well, you had a baby so tough shit! You have 18 years of looking after them, and if you can’t bullshit us and say you didn’t realise that before!
See, we can think of a million reasons why NOT to have children, but not why TO have them. Odd, isn’t it?