So You Wanna Be An Atheist

So You Wanna Be An Atheist…

We all know atheism is hip and sexy. Atheists get laid more than anyone, they don’t pay any taxes, they get wined and dined, and they skate into positions of wealth and power in our society. All you have to do is say you’re an atheist and suddenly the world opens up for you. Your friends and family think you’re awesome and want to be just like you, you get in free to all the best clubs, you get the best tables and the fastest service in the restaurants, you get complimentary penthouse suites and limousines, and your adoring fans follow your every move on the Internet and show up asking for autographs while you’re out with your date (which, you have to admit, makes you look pretty cool).

So, how do you penetrate this insular, elite segment of society? What does it take to rise to the top and become one of the jet-setting atheist crowd?

At last, here is how you, too, can be an atheist, one of the privileged few:

1) Stop believing in a god. Whether your concept of a deity is one who created the universe and then went to sleep or disappeared, whether it is one who takes an active interest in your sex life and answers your prayers, whether it is one who lives on another planet and occasionally intercedes in human affairs on behalf of its pet humans, or whether it is more than one god or goddess, the first and most critically important thing to do is not believe in it or them. Actually, that’s it. Nothing more is required of you. You don’t have to defend your lack of belief if you don’t want to, you don’t have to arrive at your non-belief through a process of reasoned argument or self-seeking, and you certainly don’t have to pray. There are no elaborate rituals to undergo or affidavits to sign. You can go on believing in Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, yetis, trolls, liberal globalist conspiracies or orbital mind control lasers if you want to, and nobody will accuse you of not being an atheist. Well, some might, but you are not obligated to take their criticisms seriously. Really, it’s as simple as that: Shed your belief in a deity, and you are an atheist. If you are reading this because you want to be an atheist, congratulations, you probably are already.

2) If you want to be more radical about your non-belief, the next step is to become more educated. Now might be a good time to stop believing in Bigfoot, too. Familiarize yourself with the works of atheist writers such as the Four Horsemen: Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, Daniel Dennett and Sam Harris. Train yourself to debate and to be able to identify logical fallacies in an argument and to resist pseudo-scientific claims. Watch YouTube videos by atheists and listen to atheist podcasts. You might also want to become familiar with some of the YouTube material put out by religious kooks like Ray Comfort and Alister McGrath, though these can be painful to watch. If you are an American, it would be a good idea to have a working knowledge of the King James Bible as well.

3) If you want to be a more militant, capital-A Atheist, get active. Join a secular organization like American Atheists or the Secular Student Alliance and pay dues. Go to conventions and conferences and network. Join or start a group on Facebook and a meetup group in your area, and get together regularly and socialize, bitch about Christians, plan events, and drink beer. Speak loudly with your atheist friends when you’re in a bar in order to invite Christians to come over and start arguments with you – this can be quite entertaining but could get you in trouble if you are not careful. In addition to proficiency in verbal ju-jitsu, it might be a good idea to have some actual Kung Fu skills.

4) Kick it up a notch. Get more active. Get a position in the administration of one of those organizations you have joined. Get on the planning committees of those conferences and conventions you’re going to all the time. Cultivate personal relationships with politicians and convince them they need to pay attention to the wishes of atheists in their districts, and that churches ought to pay taxes. Get involved with school districts and convince them they need to not teach creationist horseshit in their science curricula. Contribute to Planned Parenthood and volunteer your time (and Kung Fu skills) as a security guard at a clinic that performs abortions.

5) Now it’s time to make your mark on the world. Make a name for yourself. Get yourself elected president of your favorite atheist organization, or start your own, and build it into an internationally known force for reason and justice in the world. Write a book, or several. Do speaking tours and book signings all over the place. Appear on talk shows and participate in debates on college campuses.

6) If you don’t succeed at 5), you might think about becoming bitter, angry, depressed and hostile. Cultivate that malicious streak that guided you toward atheism in the first place. Actually eat a baby. Have gay sex even if you’re not gay, just to piss off your parents. Perform blood sacrifices to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Burn down a church, preferably a megachurch where you can cause millions of dollars in property damage. When you see people collecting money for Catholic homeless shelters on the street corners, pull over and kick the crap out of them and take their money. Picket the funerals of Christians. Wear T-shirts that say things like “Jesus is coming! Somebody get a towel!” Perform abortions for free in your garage. Move to New York and cultivate a heroin habit. Convince yourself that the Second Law of Thermodynamics shows that the universe is decaying, life is pointless, and we are all doomed. Kill yourself in a way that will air on prime time TV.

7) If 6) is not for you, good. Forget about all the other steps and go back to 1). Honestly, that’s all there is to it.

Well, there you have it. Now you are equipped with all the necessary knowledge to be an atheist. Now you will have the red-carpet treatment wherever you go, and members of the sex of your choice will flock to you. Your limousine is waiting…

Copied with permission from my friend Sean Gale at Kill Your TV.

 

Tale of Two Daughters

Two daughters from the same parents.

One was a child whom many would consider troubled. She was loud, defiant and sometimes belligerent. She bucked the rules every chance she got. She had a rocky relationship with her parents. She’s an avowed atheist who regularly speaks out against religion.

The other toed the line, and never got in trouble. She was quiet, compliant and obedient. She was the goody-two-shoes; the prudish child. She’s a Bible-thumping Christian, who regularly speaks out against sins and sinners.

All grown up now, they’re still very different from each other.

One is a habitual liar, thief and scam artist. She’s been arrested several times – for as many different crimes. She’s spent time in prison and on probation. She never finished high school. She’s had a child, but the child was taken away and put in foster care. She’s been homeless or living out of hotels for nearly her entire adult life. She’s never had a steady, solid relationship. She’s estranged from nearly every family member, and the ones she still has contact with would rather she be estranged from them as well.

The other has never been in trouble with the law, not even so much as a parking ticket. She’s honest to a fault and trustworthy. She graduated near the top of her class, and went to college on a scholarship, but did drop out. She’s had a couple of long-term, solid relationships, and has been married twice. She’s raised 3 children, never once having any run-ins with protective services. She’s always had a home, and has been relatively responsible with money. She gets along with most of her family.

By now, I’m sure the assumption is that the bad child, the atheist, is the one who grew into the delinquent adult … and the good child, the Christian, is the one who grew into the responsible adult.

That assumption would be dead wrong.

I know I gave my parents a run for their money when I was growing up. I’ve turned into a damn good adult, though! I’m proud of who I am, and my accomplishments. I’m proud of the way I raised my children.

And I’m ecstatic that I didn’t turn out like my sister.

You’re a militant atheist!

All an atheist has to do is say “I’m atheist” and we’re “offending the religious”. All an atheist has to do is say “you’re forcing your beliefs on others, and I won’t stand for it anymore” and we’re labeled as “militant atheists”. The term is laughable. When we start blowing up their places of worship, or flying planes into buildings, THEN you can say we’re “militant”. Until then, we’re outspoken.

For me, you can call me a militant atheist all you like, I’ll just laugh at you. I am extremely outspoken. If someone personally (as in, not online, really in person) brings up religion around me, 9 times out of 10 they’re doing it with the assumption that everyone agrees with them. Most are shocked to find out that I do NOT agree with them, even though they know I’m atheist. If they open up that topic, they WILL get my views.

However, if I’m invited to a wedding, or if I must attend a funeral, or even if my religious family and friends want to pray before their meal, I just keep my trap shut and let them have their superstitions. If they were to insist that I also take part in their ritualistic behavior, I will tell them “no”. So far, I’ve been lucky that no one so far has insisted.

Just last week, I had a christian friend say to me, “You don’t celebrate christmas?!”, as if she was truly shocked. Now this woman has known I’m atheist since we reconnected on MySpace back in 2006. At that point, I snapped at her. I mean, really? Really? Do you not see the things I post on Facebook?!

When I post on MY Facebook page, or MY blog, or MY anything online, I do so to educate (mostly) people about the ridiculousness of religion. Yes, I also use sarcasm, mocking and humor. I have tried being nice, and using logic and reason (it doesn’t work), and I find that the way to get people to actually THINK about their beliefs is to shock them out of their comfort zone.

If people don’t want to see the things I post on MY OWN PAGE, they have a couple of options:
1) They can ignore my posts by scrolling past them
2) They can ignore my posts by choosing “Ignore this person”
3) They can un-friend me
4) They can block me
None of it offends me. Really. Ok, I was offended by one person that blocked me, but for reals, my own father shouldn’t block me completely.

It is a very rare situation that I go off on someone on THEIR page, or THEIR blog. That only happens when they’ve specifically asked for opinions, AND if I know them well enough to know that neither of us takes disagreement and/or debate personally. I have some christian friends that I debate with frequently, on my page and theirs. I will also give someone a piece of my mind if they are specifically bashing atheists. On occasion, I will mock someone if they are bashing another religion while completely ignoring that their own religion does the same thing as the one they’re bashing.

See, I’m an equal opportunity anti-religion atheist. I don’t put down christian beliefs while defending muslim beliefs. I put them ALL down, across the board. Which is kinda funny at times, when a christian will see me going after a muslim belief, and they think, “Ooo, she’s on MY side!” Don’t worry, you’ll get your turn in the spotlight, and it will be sooner rather than later, I promise you. I’m not on the “side” of any religion!

Which brings me to the erroneous belief that I think ALL religion is extremist. No. I think that all religion BREEDS extremism. I think that all religion is dangerous for society as a whole. I think that there are some truly good religious people. Not many, but there are some. I also think that I know more atheists who act like better religious people than the religious people I know. I’ve been fortunate to get to know some religious people who are truly good people. I’ve also been unfortunate to get to know some atheists who are not good people. What I will say is that religion isn’t the reason for the good christians, muslims, jews, etc., nor is it to blame for the bad atheists. It IS however, usually to blame for the bad christians, muslims, jews, etc.

Lastly, for those who say, “But your militant atheism is bad for the cause!” I must point you in the direction of a piece I read just the other day, by Greta Christina – What Are The Goals of the Atheist Movement?.

My goal is to get people to think about what they believe and why. I want people to examine every little nook and cranny of their superstition. I want them to confront the contradictions and hypocrisies. I want people to learn everything there is to know about the history of their religion, including their holidays. I want people to stop lying to themselves because it makes them feel good.

And if I must be “militant” to do that, then so be it. I’ve lost my patience for religious beliefs. I’m beyond my breaking point for religious apologists, especially when it comes to atheists who prefer to just shut up and let the religious bulldoze us at every turn. I tired of people pussy-footing around the topic of religion because of some false sense of politeness. I think we must start standing up for ourselves as atheists. Yes, let people know you’re an atheist, and live your life in such a way that proves that atheists are not horrible people with no morals or values. But stop letting the religious walk all over you and everyone that’s not like them. Be outspoken! Get called a “militant atheist” a few times in your life!  Your children will thank you for making their lives a better place to live.

Walmart Employee Fired Because of His Beliefs – UPDATE!

July 16, 2011 was Roger Barr’s 60th birthday. It was also the day he found out that his employer — Walmart — has a policy that dictates what an employee can’t do on their free time, away from work.

Barr worked part-time as a “People Greeter” for the Walmart in Galax, Virginia. This highly religious community is nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains, not far from the North Carolina border. It is also an area that is experiencing high unemployment.

He had only been working there for about a year. He scored very high at his yearly performance review. “The co-manager told me that in one category that I was the first associate that he had ever rated that high,” Roger said in an email.

It was obvious to fellow employees and customers that he was good at, and loved his job. After 40 years of working in manufacturing jobs, he said he’d finally found a job he enjoyed.

That Saturday, Barr clocked in for work at 6PM. Twenty minutes later, he was summoned by management to an office at the front of the store, where a Shift Manager and Asset Protection Coordinator were waiting. “I asked what was going on and the APC told me there had been a complaint lodged against me at Corporate and I was suspended immediately.”

Store management said they didn’t know what the complaint was about, but that he must leave the store immediately. He wasn’t even allowed to do some shopping before he left the store, nor was he allowed to clock out.

The following Monday, July 18, he received a phone call asking him to come in for a meeting with management. He was escorted to an office in the back of the store, where he met with the Store Manager and APC. They explained that a customer had written a letter to the President of Walmart about Barr’s Facebook posts. They read the letter to him.

“In the letter she stated that she was afraid to shop at our store because of me and my posts on old people, handicapped people and people with several children.” Barr keeps his Facebook profile open to the public, because he does not believe in censorship. He was not told who made the complaint, nor how the complainant came to view his profile, but he suspects that it was a friend of a friend who had commented on his postings. At the time, Barr had a staggering 1700 people on his friend list!

The Facebook post in question was made by Barr on June 6, 2011. It was a fairly simple status update:

“Better health care means that disabled and chronically ill people live longer.” … Reader’s Digest … But is that a good thing?

The conversation erupted into a debate of sorts, with several people agreeing with Barr, and several people disagreeing with him and other commenters.

Roger had a special needs sister, and his unique views are because of his experiences with her, and how she was treated.  “[She was] the last of 10 children. She was premature and nearly died as a baby. She never matured mentally or physically past the age of 10. At that time we did not use the term ‘special needs child’ but that dreaded word ‘retarded’. She was a very happy child though and loved other children. When she started school she was immediately singled out and picked on by the other kids. The older kids were even worse. Although she did learn to read and write and do some arithmetic she never got past the 7th grade. The school system allowed her to stay in school until she turned 18 and she basically helped out as a non-paid aide. After she turned 18 they would no longer let her go to school. She died at the age of 22 in 1975 because her heart could longer support her body.” Barr explains. He feels that there is a difference between “living” and “simply existing”, and that those who are “simply existing” are “simply taking up space” if they’re not able to contribute anything to themselves or society.

How any of this should make someone afraid to shop at Walmart will remain a mystery. Barr made no threats against anyone, nor did he threaten any group of people. He candidly expressed his opinion. Roger, an outspoken atheist, also made a remark about there being no such thing as a soul, which didn’t sit well with a few of those who commented on this post.

One of the people who commented — a co-worker and friend of a friend — said she couldn’t wait for the day that something bad happened to Roger, and that she hoped she would be able to witness his “punishment”.

Another person threatened, “I hope you are lucky enough to be treated as you treat others, with no compassion or concern. I might just come to Walmart and see you sometime!”

Remember, these comments are also open and viewable to the general public, since Roger’s profile is open to the public.

At the meeting on July 18, Barr was instructed to write a statement to Corporate, explaining why he wrote the post, and that he was not a danger to anyone. The manager told Barr that his statement should satisfy Corporate, and that as far as he was concerned, the issue was settled. Barr was allowed to clock in and work his scheduled shift. His manager informed him later that evening that Corporate wasn’t happy about the way things were handled, but he also said that Roger should go back to work, and he’d let him know if anything else came up.

Barr finished his shift that Monday, worked his regular shift on Wednesday, and went to work again on Thursday. However, at around 1:30PM on Thursday, Barr was again summoned by management, and told he was again suspended, and would have to leave the store.  This time, he was allowed to clock out and purchase a few items before going back home.

Upon arriving home, there was a message on his phone from the Store Manager. He called, and the Store Manager said that Barr was again banned from the store, but not to worry too much about the situation, that he was sure it would be straightened out. The Store Manager said he’d be back in touch with Barr after some paperwork had been completed.

On July 27, he was again summoned for a meeting, this time with two women from Walmart’s corporate office. “They told me that in posting what I had posted on Facebook and causing the complaint to be lodged against me that I had violated the social media guidelines policy in that it had resulted in an adverse effect on the company,” Barr said.

Barr explained to them that he had not known there was a policy regarding social media. They told him that it was on the WIRE (Walmart’s computer system for employees). Many Walmart employees are unaware that there is a policy, as it’s not something that was publicized since its inception about a year ago. When he told them that he didn’t even know how to access the WIRE, they lectured that he could have asked someone for help.

The only way to access the WIRE is on the computers at Walmart, and only while you are on the clock. It’s against company policy to do any job related functions during your breaks, so the time available to access the WIRE is very limited. Another major obstacle for employees is that company policies are not allowed to leave the building; an employee can not print out the 40 page social media and ethics policies (or the entire list of policies, which is over 300 pages!) to bring home and read at their leisure. This is especially disadvantageous for employees like People Greeters and Cashiers, who are stuck at their post for their entire shift. For them it’s only possible to access the WIRE immediately after clocking in, or before clocking out. Unfortunately, Walmart has also been cracking down on over-time, so an employee risks getting coached (an official reprimand, which can lead to termination) if they go over their scheduled shift time.

The women from Corporate had copies of his posts, and asked him to once again write a statement on a prepared form, and to sign it. He was once again sent home, and told that he should hear from them in a day or two, after they were done investigating the situation.

At no point to date has he received a copy of anything he’d read or signed. The social media policy was read to him, but he did not read it himself, nor was he asked to sign anything saying that he saw and/or agreed to any policy.

On August 1, Barr was again summoned for a meeting. It would be his last. He was fired that day. The official reason: Violation of Social Media Policy and Harassment Policy.

The good news is he’s not banned from the store any more! However, he doubts he will ever shop at Walmart again.

Roger has an army of friends who have supported him through this, and will continue to support him by boycotting Walmart. There is quite the social networking movement happening on his Facebook page, and on the pages of his friends.

In the words of Roger Barr – “Time was that an employee was judged by his on-the-clock job performance! Now it seems companies want to control them full time and judge them by their off-the-clock performance also. Shouldn’t they also pay them that time too? A company, no matter how big, should not be able to dictate what you say and do off the clock unless you have signed a morals contract.”

And that, folks, is the burning question. Should a company be allowed to control what an employee does on his or her free time?

Another question to ponder: how exactly did this have an “adverse effect on the company”? The complainant didn’t have a beef with Walmart, they had a problem with the personal beliefs of an employee. Aren’t the personal beliefs of an employee covered under the Federal EEOC rules?

One would think that the publicity generated from this incident will have a much greater adverse effect on the company!

Please voice your opinion in the comments. How do you think Walmart should have handled this? Do you think Roger should have done anything differently? What would you do, if you were in his shoes?

______________________________________________________

On Thursday, August 11, 2011, Barr was interviewed by his local television station.

The video of that interview can be seen by clicking here.

The follow up video, a conversation with a lawyer, can be seen by clicking here.

A write up of the story, with a section for comments.