The Billboard Song

This is a song I learned 30 years ago, at Girl Scout camp. I remember it being one of the silliest, and most fun songs of my youth. And that says a lot, considering I grew up in a time when Ray Stevens was at the top of his game, with songs like “The Streak” and “I’m My Own Grandpa”.

I had the lyrics saved on a piece of paper that was handed out to all of us Girl Scouts. I don’t know why I saved it, but it’s one of those things that got put in a special box full of memories. These are the lyrics as I knew them:

As I was walking down the street one dark and dreary day,
I came upon a billboard, and much to my dismay,
The sign was torn and tattered from a storm the night before.
The wind and rain had done its job and this is what I saw:

Smooooooke, Coca-Cola Cigarettes
Chew Wrigley’s Spearmint Beer
Ken-L-Ration Dog Food Makes Your Wife’s Complexion Clear
Simonize Your Baby With A Hershey’s Candy Bar
And Texacola Beauty Cream Is Used By All The Stars

Soooooo Take Your Next Vacation In A Brand New Fridgidaire
Learn To Play Piano In Your Winter Underwear
Doctors Say That Babies Should Smoke Until They’re Three
And People Over Sixty-five Should Bathe In Lipton Tea…

With Flow Thru Tea Bags!

Tonight, this song popped into my head, and I decided to Google it. I was surprised to find that there are so many different versions of the song! The original was done by Homer and Jethro.

2008

2008 is almost over (how did it go so fast?). I thought I’d post this survey I received, as an interesting way to remember the year.

JANUARY

1. Who kissed you on New Years?
Bill and Matthew

2. Did you have a New Year’s resolution this year?
Nope, never do.

3. Does it snow where you live?
Not as much as before, but still too much.

4. Do you like hot chocolate?
Sometimes

5. Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop?
Nope, and don’t ever plan to. Too crowded and dangerous.

 

FEBRUARY

1. Who was your Valentine?
Bill

2. When you were little, did you buy Valentines for the whole class?
In elementary school, yes.

3. Do you care if the groundhog sees its shadow or not?
Ha! No, it’s a joke.

4. What did you receive for Valentine’s Day?
A card from my Husband.

5. What did you give for Valentine’s Day?
A handmade card to my Husband.

 

MARCH

1. Are you Irish?
Not that I’m aware of.

2. Do you like corned beef and cabbage?
Never had it, don’t know.

3. What did you do for St. Patty’s Day?
Nothing, I never celebrate it.

4. Are you happy when winter is pretty much over?
Hell yeah! Even happier when it’s completely over!

 

APRIL

1. Do you like the rain?
Not spring rain; too cold. I love summer rain, though.

2. Did you play an April fool’s joke on anyone this year?
Sadly, no, I didn’t get the chance to this year.

3. Do you get tons of candy for Easter?
Nope, I don’t celebrate it.

4. Do you celebrate 4/20?
No! Why anyone would celebrate that is beyond me … stupid drug addicts – sad people.

5. Do you love the month of April?
Only for tax refunds! LOL

 

MAY

1. Finish the phrase “April showers…
…haven’t been happening until May in these parts.”

2. Do you celebrate May 16th: National Piercing Day?
Nope, never even heard of it.

3. Is May anything special to you?
Nope, just that it’s getting warmer, finally.

 

JUNE

1. What year did/will you graduate from high school?
1988

2. Did you do anything fun during this month?
Not that I remember, unless you count a family reunion.

3. Have a favorite baseball team?
Hate sports.

 

JULY

1. What did you do on the 4th of July?
Picnic at my Dad’s, I think.

2. Did you go to the fireworks?
Not on the 4th, but the weekend after.

3. Did you blast the A/C all day?
I only turned on the A/C about 5 times this summer, for 1-2 days each time, and we weren’t home on the 4th anyway.

4. Favorite memory?
Coatesville fireworks, and that I finally got to enjoy them with my Husband this year.

 

AUGUST

1. What was your favorite summer memory of ’08?
The Flight 93 Memorial in Somerset PA, and Cedar Point Amusement Park in Ohio, with Bill, Matthew and Jessie. 🙂

2. Did you have a sunburn?
Not this year.

3. Did you go to the pool a lot?
What pool? I didn’t even swim in my Dad’s pool this year. 😦

 

SEPTEMBER

1. Are you attending college/school?
Nope

2. Do you like fall better than summer?
Ugh, NO! Fall means summer has ended. 😦

3. What happened this month?
Not much. Our Anniversary and a couple of good things happened.

 

OCTOBER

1. What was your last Halloween costume?
I was supposed to go as a nerd with my Son, but when both a party and tradition got cancelled, I didn’t want to waste the money on a costume.

2. What is your favorite candy?
All of it! LOL I’m not picky about candy.

3. What is your favorite thing about this month?
Halloween!

 

NOVEMBER

1. Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving?
Usually my in-laws’, but I’m itching for a change. Maybe I’ll convince Dad to host it next year. 😉

2. What are you thankful for?
Matthew, Bill, and that those I love are happy and healthy. I’m also thankful that I’ve found some long lost friends lately.

3. Do you love stuffing?
That depends on what’s in it. Definately NOT celery or oysters…yuck!

4. Anything special in this month?
Yeah, Obama got elected this year! Wooohooo!!

 

DECEMBER

1. Have you had any snow already this year?
Unfortunately, yes. We had about an inch on 11/21. 😦

2. What is the average high temperature in winter where you live?
20-35 degrees F.

3. Is your Xmas spending more or less than last year?
Much much less.

4. Describe your holiday spirit in 3 words or less.
BAH-HUMBUG!

5. How do you spend New Years Eve?
We spend it with my Dad every year, either at his house or at my Uncle Jack’s. This year, it’s at Dad’s (yay! less driving!).

49 Things …

Learn 49 things about your friends, and let them learn 49 things about you!

1. Do you like blue cheese? salad dressing, yes, but not plain bleu cheese

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? No, I’m not an idiot!

3. Do you own a gun? Sure do!

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic’s? I didn’t know you could do that, and I’ve been there a couple of times. Hmmmm.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? That depends on whether I know I’m getting a needle or not. *shudder*

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I go through periods of liking them. I prefer cheese or chili dogs. Actually, I could probably live on Harry’s Hot Dogs for life!

7. Favorite Christmas song? Ugh, I hate Xmas. The only ones I like are the ones that make me laugh, like “12 Pains of Xmas”.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? It used to be Turkey Hill Iced Tea, until I found out it could kill ya. Now I drink Raspberry soda.

9. Can you do push ups? I honestly don’t know, but probably not more than one.

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My wedding band and my black rose necklace.

11. Favorite hobby? Lots – my computer, my shows, cross-stitch, reading and lately, gardening.

12. Do you have A.D.D.? I’m sorry, what was the question? LOL
13. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? My poor health.

14. Middle name? Hate it, and don’t give it out.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: * So much to do, so little time. * Can’t believe school starts next week, I’m gonna be a basket case without him. * Can’t wait till November so I can vote for OBAMA!

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. Raspberry soda, occasionally milk or water.

17. Current worry right now? Jessie

18. Current hate right now? HA! Certain people who know who they are. McCain, who owns 7 houses, is worth millions (his wife is worth more), and thinks he’s “in touch with America” … let’s see him support a family on less than $30,000 a year, and see who he votes for!
19. Favorite place to be? Disney World *sniffle*

20. How did you bring in the New Year? With my Son, my Husband and my Dad at my Uncle Jack’s house. We usually have a roaring good time! 🙂

21. Like to go camping? Yes, as long as I’m not sleeping in the back of a mini-van! LOL

22. Name three people who will complete this? Probably Jess and Mel, don’t know who the third would be.

23. Do you own slippers? A couple of pairs, depends on how cold my feet are.
24. What color shirt are you wearing? Red
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Ick, no! I hate sliding around in bed (well, when I’m trying to SLEEP, that is LOL).

26. Can you whistle? Sure can!

27. Favorite color? Black or red

28. Would you be a pirate? Yes, but only if the booty was good. 😉

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? None
30. Favorite girl’s name? Nicole

31. Favorite boy’s name? Matthew

32. What’s in your pocket right now? No pockets.

33. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Jessie, not remembering what she did today, because she was knocked out for tooth surgery. (No Jess, you weren’t dreaming! LOL)

33. Best bed sheets as a kid? I didn’t get the cool sheets, my spoiled sister did. I had some white/pink/lime-green patterned sheets.

34. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Broken arm as a child, arm caught in an escalator as a child, dislocated/fractured elbow as an adult.

35. Do you love where you live? It’s better than where I HAVE lived, but I still can’t say I love it. Too many damn horse and buggys; the neighbor’s dog and rooster won’t shut up; and the motorcycle drivers are rude and ignorant on this stretch of road (one of these days, I’m gonna follow one home, and blast my stereo in front of his house at 3am and see how he likes it!).

36. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2 that are on the brink of dying, and 2 tiny spares my Dad gave me, in case of emergency.

37. Who is your loudest friend? Um, I dunno. I’m probably the loudest of all my friends! LOL

38. How many pets do you have? My one and only, 17 lb cat Punkin

39. Does someone have a crush on you? I’m pretty sure my cat does. LOL

40. What is your favorite book? “The Story of O”

41. What is your favorite candy? Anything with ewwy gooey caramel in it.

42. Favorite Sports Team? I hate sports!! (I do, however, like to watch the Olympics: the sports that require talent like Gymnastics)

43. What were you doing 12 AM last night? I was on the phone with the Hubby.

44. where’s this one?? What one? What are we talking about?

45. worst habit? Smoking.

46. Do you play an instrument? My keyboard and occasionally the Wii remote!

47. How long does it take you to get to work? 0 minutes. I never leave my job.

48. Plans for the weekend? Laundry and spending time with the Brat. 🙂
49. If you could eat anything in the world right this second? Lobster. I have such a terrible craving. I haven’t had it in many years. 😦

Entire Life Quiz

TAKE THIS SURVEY!

 

Answer YES or NO only!

Drank so much you threw up? nope
Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? yes
Been arrested? no, I actually AM a good person
Gone on a blind date? never
Skipped school? shhh, yeah
Seen someone die? yes
Been to Canada? yep
Been to Florida? lots
Been to Mexico? not yet
Been in a helicopter? I’m thinking yes
Been on a plane? plenty of times
Jumped out of a plane? not yet
Been lost? I don’t get lost, I have a fantastic sense of direction
Gone to Washington ,DC? yeah
Swam in the ocean? yeppers
Felt like dying? daily
Cried yourself to sleep? too many times to count
Played cops and robbers? when I was a kid
Recently colored with crayons? sadly, yes LOL
Sang karaoke? in front of actual people! LOL
Paid for a meal with only coins? paid for lots with only coins
Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? yes 😦
Made prank phone calls? a loooong time ago
TP’d someone’s house? ditto
Keyed someone’s car? no, that’s just wrong!
Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose? LOL, yes
Laughed until liquid came out the other end? yep, I’ve pissed myself laughing before
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? yes
Danced in the rain? yes 🙂
Written a letter to Santa Claus? I think I have one saved from when I was younger
Been kissed under the mistletoe? yeah
Watched the sun rise with someone you care about? almost daily
Blown bubbles? with AND without a jar of soapy water LOL
Made a bonfire on the beach/river bank? nope
Crashed a party? nope
Shot a gun? yep, and I’m a damn good shot, too!
Gone roller-skating? oh yeah!
Gone Ice-skating? used to
Jumped off a bridge? ::shudder::: never will, either
Called in sick when you weren’t? I plead the 5th
Been so mad you laughed? recently
Been so happy you cried? yes
Felt bad for someone you didn’t like? yeah
Rocked out, lip syncing a song while no one was around? if no one is around to see it, did it really happen?
Still dream about what you’ll do when you grow up?? no

Random Questions:

Any nicknames? Bitch, Shell, Mom, Yo, and Hey you! LOL
Mother’s Name: disowned
What is your favorite non alcoholic drink? Turkey Hill Iced Tea
Tattoos? never
Body piercing? ears only for now
How much do you love your job? being a mother is the best job there is!
Birthplace? Delaware
Favorite Animal? anything feline
Favorite Color? black
Favorite Season? SUMMER
Favorite type of music: anything but opera and hardcore rap
Something you couldn’t live without? my son and husband
Favorite vacation spot? DISNEY WORLD
Ever been to Africa? not yet
Ever eaten cookies for dinner? unfortunately
Ever been on TV? yes
Ever steal any traffic signs? watched as someone else did
Ever been in a car accident? 4 that I remember
Was it your fault? none of them were
Were you hurt? in one, yes
Salad dressing? Ranch, Blue Cheese, or Caesar
Any Animals? just my fuzzy ass beast of a cat
Favorite number? 13 on DOND 😉
Favorite Movie? Gia, Labyrinth, Close Encounters, Star Wars…and lots more
Favorite Holiday? Halloween…hate the rest
Favorite alcoholic drink? Long Island Iced Tea, or 57 Chevy
Favorite Food? seafood
Favorite day of the week? Friday!
Favorite brand of body soap? whatever’s cheap
Favorite TV shows? way too many to list (most on my profile)
Favorite toothpaste? Mentadent
What do you do to relax? sleep
What message do you send to friends reading this now? to friends: Thanks for reading!! (to enemies: fuck off!)
How do you see yourself in 10 years? 6 feet under
What do you do when you are bored? these dumb ass surveys
Furthest Place you will send this message? that should be “farthest”, not “furthest”, and I don’t know
Who will respond the fastest? beats me

CLICK HERE TO TAKE THIS SURVEY!

More MySpace Surveys @ MySpaceBulletins.com

What happened the year you were born?

In 1970, A House Cost $26600

• Richard Nixon is president of the US  • A federal jury finds the “Chicago 7” innocent of conspiring to incite riots during the 1968 Democratic National Convention • The lunar spacecraft Apollo 13 splashes down in the Pacific after near catastrophe • The first Earth Day is marked by millions of Americans participating in anti-pollution demonstrations • At Kent State University, National Guardsmen fire into a crowd killing four student antiwar demonstrators • A powerful earthquake claims 50,000 lives in Peru • 18 year olds are given the right to vote in federal elections • Tidal wave driven by cyclone from Bay of Bengal hits East Pakistan, killing hundreds of thousands • An anti-war rally is held at Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, attended by John Kerry, Jane Fonda and Donald Sutherland • Queen Latifah, Mariah Carey, Andre Agassi, Uma Thurman, Jennifer Lopez, and Matt Damon are born • Baltimore Orioles win the World Series • Kansas City Chiefs win Superbowl IV • Boston Bruins win the Stanley Cup • Tearjerker Love Story is the top grossing film • I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou is published • “The Long and Winding Road” becomes the Beatles’ last Number 1 song

What Happened the Year You Were Born?

Blogthings: Learn Something Surprising About Yourself